What is the sure-fire way to prepare yourself for having a "successful" Divorce result? In other words, how might you guarantee that your marriage would end in Divorce? - start Dating young and often.
Now, you might be thinking this guy is nuts! (may be a discussion for another article) But the facts and historical record are compelling. In 1955, the Divorce rate in America was nearly 0 (zero) in 2009 it exceeds 50% so in this span of 60 years what's happened?
Obviously, there are many contributing factors but I do think that we can identify one very strong influence. Also in a day when even the re-defining of Marriage is being pushed the musings as to how to be sure that the undesirable outcome of divorce is not arrived at, should be addressed.
Over the past 25+ years I've:
* worked with and observed the effects of divorce on teenagers,
* counseled friends who show-up to get help when the marriage is on the rocks,
* challenged couples preparing to "tie-the-knot" with discussions as to how "bad" being married can be! (only to still see thee marriages end in Divorce)
So after one considers the stresses of life, the communication problems (one of the largest enemies of relationships), the bumps and potholes along the road of marital bliss I come back to my earlier assertion - Dating is a sure-fire assistant for divorce!
As I've asked 100's and thousands of people what is the longevity goal of marriage? Everyone agrees, no matter their background, upbringing, socio-economic level, educational level, religious, non-religious, experience - they all agree the goal for marriage is "Forever"!
When we look at what is the "goal" of Dating, the highest is to "find a mate" but the overwhelming common goal of Dating is to "not be alone" or to "hook-up" in the present day vernacular. Dating lasts 2 years, 2 months, 2 days or 2 hours! Dating IS temporary!
Actually Dating is "whenever", whenever it doesn't work out, whenever you no longer satisfy my needs, whenever someone else comes along....
So when we come into Marriage with a Dating experience we are destined to Divorce!
So here's the equation of Divorce: Whenever + Forever = Never
3 comments:
Great you started a blog Paul!! Thanks for all your words....they sure make me think! Keep it up!
Amen brother... this is the trend. Check out Lifechurch.tv and search for the message series called trueish. Specifically that God does not want us "happy". The pursuit of happiness, defined by the world's language, is the root. Self.
More to come.....
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