I think we need a new view, glasses if you would, in regards to the purpose of and goals in dating. When I’ve asked teenagers, “how long has dating been around?” they’re universal answer is “forever”.
To which I ask, “Are you sure?” and they’re resounding response is, “sure!”
Well dating has only been around since the 1950’s and only in the USA. Dating has never been practiced in any society, in any other time-frame, in all recorded history men and women! Only in this 60-year timeframe. Before, 1950’s in America and all other societies the practice of a man and a woman to become “acquainted” was usually some type of “arrangement”.
Arrangements ranged from pre-arranged marriages where you would not even meet your intended until your wedding day to courting in “proper” accordance of acceptable behaviors with often a chaperone along to keep things on the up and up. Interaction was limited to conversation and perhaps holding hands but never more contact than this.
Today, the highest goal for Dating is to find your future mate. But the most common “goal” of dating is to not be alone, to maintain social standing as desirable – most probably to “hook-up”.
Since the 1950’s, young people in America have been involved in a social experiment. The practice of freely dating whomever you wish, to find that future mate has been the rule of the day. But the behavior of this experiment has been dictated by few or no guidelines save – “if it feels good do it!” and conversely if doesn’t “feel” good find someone else. So the dating routine has been well established as completely temporary.
My observation is that Dating sets you up for Divorce. its this “temporary” perspective or at least the if it “doesn’t feel good” then end it mentality that has totally changed the divorce rate in America.
In 1950 the Divorce rate in America was nearly “0”, today its over 50%, so how’s this social experiment going? I realize dating isn’t the only cause for Divorce but it is obviously a “habit-forming” influence that is a major contributor – if we can change our perspective of the goal for Dating this contributor could be re-oriented.
More to come in this on-going unpacking….
1 comment:
While heartily agreeing with your basic premis, I think you might have to push the beginning of dating back into the 'Roaring' 1920s. As a history teacher, I've always presented the beginning of dating as a biproduct of Henry Ford's mass marketing of the Model T.
Great start on a new blog. I also started a new blog today, with the review of a teenager's diary in 1890s Brazil. Her older aunts all had arranged marriages. Her mother only got to pick her husband because the grandfather had passed away. http://briantcarroll.blogspot.com/
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