...may be the subject of my next blog article, thx for stirring it!
1) As for their faith I too thought they were perhaps stronger Christians than this crisis has revealed. - a clue I guess was we only heard as a sidebar about their faith on the TV program - I haven’t read anything she’s written.
And YES if a couple (or any individual for that matter) is going through a difficult time the bedrock of faith should be relied on - we've not heard of any attempt to seek counsel, or counseling from a Christian resource, we've not even heard any reference of Christian Marriage vows being broken, challenged or wrestled with. Worse we've not heard the word "forgiveness" at all!
What we continue to hear is "me", "My life", "my kids" mmm a pattern of self-centeredness even when referring to their children, "what’s best for MY kids" -that is the saddest.
I hope I'm not coming across as judgmental or condescending... because honestly, my wife of 31 years, could have kicked me to the curb many many years ago ... I’ve not been "unfaithful" as in adultery, but I've been "unfaithful", "missed the mark", "imperfect" and only because our marriage relationship has been sustained by and is based on "unconditional love" that we depend to get supplied from the One who loves US unconditionally!
Jon and Kate have seemed to pursue what makes them individually "happy": he coming out of his shell, finding "love" in the wrong places and she finding her "career" more important than her marriage... oh plus take care of their kids
2) As to the kids being affected by an "unhappy" relationship... actually "happiness" should not be the goal of any relationship,
Unity should be the goal and then happiness the result.
Granted, abusive relationships of any kind would not be a healthy environment for these 8 children.
But a relationship, imperfect and all, that lives out in front of them one of honesty, forgiveness, highs and lows with a total commitment TO each other will teach a stronger message than ever spoken.
This is the result of knowing the truth, that Jesus has given His all to be our own, to bring us into a right relationship with God Our Father.
My 20 years of working with teenagers from families of divorce and subsequent 10 additional years studying the entire issue and 50 years of living it, has left me with one clear truth: kids flourish when they don’t have to wonder, is Mom and Dad for me?
...intact families who don’t live this out see the same abandonment, rejection and insecurity undertow in their children's lives too.
Growing up we all need to know our parents (both of them optimally, but at least one) are totally "for us"!
In the beginning Jon and Kate were 100% unified in having the additional 6, even when her life was threatened, then raising them together. Somewhere, that focused was lost. Probably the $3million a year they've made contributed. They could hire help and not have to give 100% of themselves; they could look at their own "happiness" instead of giving of themselves as couple sacrificially to their children.
My last thought, though there are more, is Jon and Kate it is not too late!
My last thought, though there are more, is Jon and Kate it is not too late!
2 comments:
Testing this wasnt working, which may be why there were no comments....lol
My thoughts exactly. Actually, I wonder more and more often why people don't have friends that encourage them to go through the work of therapy, forgiveness, a higher goal, etc., and instead, encourage them to get divorced. And this coming from a divorce lawyer. When I think people are open to it & haven't definitely made the decision to divorce, I refer them to the "Fireproof" movie & website. All the Best, Theresa
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